Shameless

So here I am. Typing away my soul for the world to see. The point in this? To let the world know what I think without saying it. To be able to speak my mind and not have people feel like they need to comment on this. To let the world (or at least my current subscibers) know I live.

You know that stupid boy I ended up posting about? Yea, he's still stupid. More than stupid now. Maybe idiotic is the right word. Who the fudge cares?

I was walking home and I knew he would be free, driving off to where ever he may be, so I called him. I almost didn't expect him to answer but he did. We talked and of course the conversation drifted over to him because he said he wasn't sure how he felt. (We normally ask each other how we are doing). I asked him why and he said it was a story. I told him to tell me this story and he said not that moment. Being me, I persisted because I knew damn well I probably wouldn't know until next week sometime. So he told me to guess and that it was probably along the lines I was thinking. I gave him my guesses, getting closer each time.

Finally, I guessed it. He may be jumping into a sudden engagement because his ex may be pregnant. Missed her period in March. Lovely. Nothing is confirmed but still.

I tried to be happy for him. Which I was over the phone but I wasn't sure how I felt about all of this. But now I just don't know. He's makng me hurt again because I like him. Now nothing for sure is going to be happening between us. That's the sad part. All those stupid hopes gone. Crushed to a million and so pieces. What a lovely way to end a day. A day before going to work.

But whatever. He says he would keep me posted and I said OK let me know.

I hope shes not pregnant. But another part of me does. I can't stand to try to be with him. He's just such. . .a player and I fell for him. The stupid fall. Though at least I haven't been thinking about him too much lately and have avoided stalking him. So alls good. . .right?

Anyway.
Peace and love.
Nico
-Crushed into a million pieces.